Introduction to “Consider This!” – First Draft

29 Jan

Note: Consider This! (working title) is the book that I announced I will be writing in this post: Taking on Another Personal Writing Project.

Introduction

After finishing college and passing the CPA Board Exam, I thought I was ready to face the real world.  I thought I had everything I needed to succeed.  I imagined myself having my own house, my own car, and lots of money.  The symbols of success.

I was so naive.  Even though I got an education, it hit me just how much I don’t know and how unprepared I was for the real world.  I may have done well academically, but I lack certain life skills.

I had high expectations of myself.  I was thinking other people expect much from me too.  After all, I was Top 19 in the Board Exam.  That thought put an even greater pressure on me.  Early in my career, I wasn’t really going anywhere and that got me so frustrated.  I was comparing myself to my peers, wondering why they were successful and why I wasn’t.  My confidence and self-esteem were on an all-time low.  I was constantly asking: “What is wrong with me?”

After a few years, finally, I was going somewhere.  But just when I thought I had it all figured out, I had this nagging feeling that I still haven’t .  There was a deep longing in my heart to do something else, to be somewhere else.  A feeling that there has got to be more to life than this.  I realized that I don’t feel successful because I am not following my own dreams, my own definition of success.

My dream was to go back home to the province and live a simple life.  I waited and waited for the perfect moment to do it, which in my mind was when I have my own business, enough savings, own house and own car.  In September 2009, when my daughter was nine months old, I resigned from my job in Manila after 8 years and 2 months of working at a bank.  It was not the perfect moment yet.  But there we were back in the province, with no business and no house.  My husband and I worked for my family’s business.

In 2011, we decided to build our own home.  That was a turning point in my life.  Things began to make sense and get clearer.  I looked back at my life and became grateful despite the struggles, confusion and disappointments.  I reconnected with God.  I found solace in writing and at 33 years old, discovered that it was my passion.  That it’s what makes me feel alive and free.

I look at my daughter.  She’s only three years old.  I want to be a great mother to her, to raise her well.  I believe I cannot and must not shield her from struggles, confusion and disappointments because these will help her grow as a person.  My goal instead is to teach her life skills that will enable her to face these and make it through.

This book contains my personal manifesto, a set of rules or guidelines that I lived by or am currently making an effort to live by.  Life skills that I learned over the past years.  I am writing this book with this mission in mind: To Inspire not Boast, To Guide not Preach, To Share not Impose.  I don’t want to dictate to my child how to live her life but I also do not want her to go out in the world clueless and unprepared.

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2 Responses to “Introduction to “Consider This!” – First Draft”

  1. Pete Denton January 29, 2012 at 8:18 pm #

    Good post. I like it when you reach that moment and decide you really have to write. Best of luck with the project.

    • Laila January 29, 2012 at 8:46 pm #

      thanks, pete!

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